Subtropical Life >>

• Best Political Gaffe
  Pembroke Pines Mayor Alex Fekete's Porn
  We know that a lot of guys, including mayors, enjoy some Internet porn. And there's nothing wrong with that as long as you play by a couple of rules. First of all, you gotta keep your wanking rate below that of the average zoo monkey. And second, you need to hide your tracks. Everybody knows... More >>
• Best Scandal
  North Broward Hospital District Readers' Choice: Miriam Oliphant
  Not even those overwrought 1980s prime-time soap operas -- like Dallas and Falcon Crest -- ever came up with a better script than what's been happening at our public health system. It begins with Austin Forman, the scion of the county's most powerful family. J.R. -- I mean Austin -- rigged a... More >>
• Best Reason to Read City Link
  Um. Oh. Well. Uh. Shit. You're younger than you think you are. More >>
• Best Radio Personality
  Jim Mandich Readers' Choice: Neil Rogers
  You don't so much listen to Jim "Mad Dog" Mandich as you rubberneck him. He's a loud, obnoxious, full-of-himself, loutish, often-wrong boor. In other words, he's perfect for that abrasive medium called radio. What's more, Mandich is perfect for sports, especially since he's a former jock... More >>
• Best Sun-Sentinel Writer
  Michael Mayo
  Pretty much the Sentinel's bite-size version of Jim DeFede, Mayo's heart is in the right place. The former sportswriter has a conscience and a Jimmy Breslin-like way of reporting issues rather than just commenting on them. He zeroes in on controversial topics and provokes meaty debate. Willing... More >>
• Best Palm Beach Post Writer
  Pat Moore
  It's an old standard in the news business that any reporter on the same beat for more than a few years is probably a hack. That's far from true for Pat Moore. She's in her 25th year at the Palm Beach Post, covering nothing more significant than the courthouse in the paper's Martin County... More >>
• Best Herald Writer
  Carol Marbin Miller
  Best Herald Writer Carol Marbin Miller The Miami-Dade Regional Juvenile Dentention Center is a dreary place. Lots of kids have hated it over the years, and the Herald has done some pretty good, aggressive stories. But when 17-year-old Omar Paisley died last year of a ruptured appendix, Herald... More >>
• Best Correction Best Journalistic Restraint
  The Palm Beach Post, October 3, 2003 Sun-Sentinel Travel editor Thomas Swick
  A story in The Palm Beach Post Wednesday on the history of cross-dressing included a reference to former FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover as 'a closet cross-dresser.' Most historians have concluded that Hoover was not a cross-dresser, despite the rumors that have circulated for years. The story... More >>
• Best Unintentionally Funny Headline
  Miami Herald Obituary, December 4, 2003
  Eye Doctor Helped Blind Patients." All we wanna know is, did he hold 'em down or actually poke out the poor bastards' peepers. More >>
• Best Typo
  The WB's full-page ad for its reality show The Surreal Life
  Reality shows became so ubiquitous there for a while that it became second nature to ignore them. And that would have been the case with The Surreal Life, an utter time-waster starring Ron Jeremy, Tammy Faye Messner, Vanilla Ice, Erik Estrada, and some other losers. Above their mugs, brief... More >>
• Best Effigy
  6007 Garden Ave.
  There's no doubt that carrying a gigantic cross on your back makes for a damn good workout. And it's undeniable that Jesus Christ had a handsome physique. Need proof? Check out the life-size statue of him at 6007 Garden Ave. in West Palm Beach, which clearly shows the benefits of his workout... More >>
• Best Mile of Palm Beach County
  Lake Trail, Palm Beach
  You can't drive along the best mile of Palm Beach County; you have to walk or ride your bike. The town of Palm Beach is located on a barrier island, and tucked behind the mansions on the Intracoastal side, you'll find the Lake Trail, a paved path where you might bump into trust-fund kids on... More >>
• Best Politician
  Dean J. Trantalis Readers' Choice: US Rep. Clay Shaw
  A handsome man with a slim figure and kind face, Dean Trantalis in many ways represents the new Fort Lauderdale. In a city where the mayor is openly homophobic, Trantalis in March 2003 defeated the wife of County Commissioner John Rodstrom (also homophobic) to win a seat on the City Commission.... More >>
• Best Mile of Broward County
  Hollywood Blvd. between City Hall and Young Circle
  Best Mile of Broward County Hollywood Blvd. between City Hall and Young Circle Wings n Curls and Burger King; billiards, spas, and realty CPAs for income tax; suitcases for luggage racks Firestone glows neon red; wheelchairs and Murphy Beds, limos and Argentango; karate and aikido... ... More >>
• Best People-watching
  Worth Avenue, Palm Beach
  Best People-watching Worth Avenue, Palm Beach See Dick leave his mansion in a blazer, a bow tie, and velvet slippers! See Jane in her Botox and new nose! See Spot drink from the Spanish-tiled "Dog Bar" (water fountain) that's built into the street. See Don King, Rod Stewart, Rush Limbaugh,... More >>
• Best Scenic Drive
  Riverland Road between State Road 7 and Davie Boulevard
  Best Scenic Drive Riverland Road between State Road 7 and Davie Boulevard Apologies to the good people of this central Broward neighborhood, for they don't deserve gawking motorists puttering around their sleepy side streets. They clearly have invested well in old, varied houses. And they have... More >>
• Best Place to Dump a Body
  26.11.44N x 081.18.24W
  If those dumb-ass kids from Bully had known about this place... well, Brad Renfro never would've had occasion to steal that boat, put it that way. Trust me, this is the place. Unless you own an airboat, this is as remote and inaccessible as it gets. Take Alligator Alley (I-75) west. Go past the... More >>
• Best Escape from the Apocalypse
  Peanut Island
  If bombs start falling or an asteroid strikes Topeka, it may be time to head to Peanut Island. The man-made stretch of sand between Palm Beach and Singer Island hides a presidential bomb shelter built in 1961. The Secret Service built the shelter during the Cold War. Then-U.S. President John F.... More >>
• Best Weekend Getaway
  Flamingo Lodge, Marina, and Outpost Resort Readers' Choice: Key West
  So you're feeling stuck in the city. Unable to think because of the swarms of people, cars, and corruption. Well, get thee to America's most famous watery park, where you'll be able to feel the kind of isolation that most of South Florida only dreams of. And try it in the summer, when even... More >>
• Best Place to Take Out-of-Towners
  Big Cypress Seminole Reservation
  Forget Las Olas and Fort Lauderdale Beach. Give those out-of-towners a taste of the real grit-in-your-teeth, mosquito-in-your-ear, 'gator snappin' Florida. Here's the Sunshine State without the convention-and-visitors-bureau crapola. The village is a little bit of modern-day, Native American... More >>
• Best Hotel
  The Chesterfield Hotel
  You gotta love a hotel that encourages you to get busy between its luxurious sheets. The Chesterfield offers a "Sex, Body, and Soul" package that includes a one-night stay, a bottle of massage oil, chocolate truffles, bath salts, a spa treatment, and -- dig this -- energy bars. It also comes... More >>
• Best Place to Hang Out with Treebeard
  Hugh Taylor Birch State Park
  By the age of 5, most South Floridians would rather watch their television flicker than have a close encounter with nature. But perhaps because of the popularity of Lord of the Rings, it "Ent" impossible to get those kids interested in the gigantic Lofty Fig at Hugh Taylor Birch State Park. How... More >>
• Best Item to Keep in Your Wallet
  Broward County Library Card
  The Broward County library system offers a zillion free resources in its one main, five regional, and 33 branch libraries. There are also three reading centers and four bookmobiles. If you're not into, like, reading, man, then try the 35,243 DVDs and 184,539 VHS tapes, which give you a selection... More >>
• Best Ego
  Tim Smith's
  You'd think being landslid out of office might end the average would-be author's hope of writing a how-to on becoming a political success. But that didn't stop Tim Smith, who was routed by Jim Naugle in last year's Fort Lauderdale mayoral race. The former city commissioner didn't let the sudden... More >>
• Best Local Website
  miami.craigslist.org
  Ignore the text-only design that seems a throwback to the early days of the World Wide Web. The Miami section of craigslist.org -- which includes browsers from across South Florida -- is arguably one of the most dynamic in the online subtropics. Craig Newmark founded the nonprofit online... More >>
• Best Local Blog
  www.hatless.com
  We've often thought of starting a weblog to dump all of our mad, misplaced, and most brilliant thoughts, but the need isn't pressing as long as we have Steve Koppelman around. Koppelman, who lives in Fort Lauderdale, runs the wonderfully named www.hatless.com, a website where he unloads his mind... More >>
• Best Science Fiction
  Creation Studies Institute
  If you can't beat science, join it. Or at least appropriate its patois, as this institute has done. The brainchild of Tom DeRosa, an acolyte of D. James Kennedy's Coral Ridge Church of Intolerance, CSI wants to prove the Bible is fact using science; this is a somewhat inverted notion of how... More >>
• Best Free Parking
  Street meters just off Las Olas Boulevard
  Parking on Las Olas Boulevard is a renowned pain in the derrière. The finicky, quarters-only meters prompted one restaurateur over the holidays to hire an 18-year-old fellow on a full-time basis to stand around a side lot making change for customers. The ravenous meters on the street... More >>
• Best Fundraiser
  St. Joseph's Episcopal Church
  Imagine God giving you his blessing to play a practical joke. That's what it feels like -- even if it's clearly not the case -- when you give the kids in the youth group at St. Joseph's 30 bucks and the street address. They'll arrive at your buddy's abode in the middle of the night with their... More >>
• Best Tourist Trap
  Hollywood Beach
  You just spent three months chipping ice off of your front steps and hunching your shoulders against the frigid north wind, which keeps coming like a sumo wrestler. Those Anglo-Saxon, winter-resistant genes are wearing thin. So jump in the car and drive the 2,500 or so miles to Hollywood Beach,... More >>
• Best Retro Video Games
  Boomers!
  Remember when you were 10 years old, sitting in a pizza parlor with your parents as the large video games in the corner beckoned you with their bells and flashing lights? You'd get a quarter from Dad, your hands greasy from pizza, and then slide that silver coin into Centipede. It would light... More >>
• Best Use of Subliminal Advertising
  Keno Bros. Jewelers
  This small jeweler on the corner of Sunrise and 20th Avenue looks like a modest mom-and-pop joint, but if you've ever been stopped at that light and let your eyes drift to its marquee, you would see hilarious phrases like "We Accept Visa, AMEX, and Sugar Daddies" and "Buy Her a Diamond or... More >>
• Best Place to Beat the Heat
  Glacier Ice and Snow Arena
  Hockey at this hot spot is played in several forms. One, the ice version, which requires skates that may be rented for a couple of bucks on top of the $6 rink admission. The others, of the dome and air varieties, require quarters. But you're here to beat heat -- why sweat? Grab a beer from the... More >>
• Best Place to Spot Celebrities
  The Cheesecake Factory
  When it's Florence Henderson's birthday, everyone knows it. At least, everyone at the Cheesecake Factory on Las Olas, an eatery the former Brady Bunch mom frequented while she was performing in the Florida Follies down the street at Parker Playhouse. Back in February, she was spotted by several... More >>
• Best Political Activist
  Jane Kreimer
  She attended her first North Broward Hospital District meeting in 1993, angry about what she felt were bloated salaries for officials. Back then, Jane Kreimer, a native of Pittsburgh, was a 69-year-old grandmother who lived in Pompano with her retired husband. Since then, she's become a most... More >>
• Best Place to See Lake Okeechobee
  Port Mayaca
  Searching for that elusive Big O, only to be stopped cold by a 40-foot dike? Or maybe you've tried to take a gander at Lake Okeechobee, the second-largest freshwater lake fully in the United States (the Great Lakes are half in Canada, eh), only to gaze upon marshy islands or grassy shoals... More >>
• Best Landmark
  The Fort Lauderdale skyline
  Remember when the downtown skyline of Broward County's largest city was just a scattered handful of high-rise office buildings? If you've lived in South Florida for more than a few years, of course you do. And if you go back more than two decades, you'll remember a skyline distinguished largely... More >>
• Best Place for Boys to Meet Boys
  Publix Super Market at Five Corners Plaza
  Craving hot buns? How about a big, fat sausage? The Publix at Five Points can satisfy just about all your needs. Sure, it's got food, but it's also got men -- gay men -- and lots of them. Just about every Tom, Dick, and Harry cruises the aisles at "The Gay Publix," conveniently located in the... More >>
• Best Place for Girls to Meet Girls
  La Bare
  So "Harley" is revving his motor in your face, and you don't know whether to laugh or laugh. For a not-so-small fee ($10 for ladies age 21 and older; $15 for ladies 18 to 20), you can witness a crowd of strictly women hootin' and hollerin'. Why is it that men sit at titty bars in dumbfounded... More >>
• Best Place to Meet Members of the Opposite Sex
  PetSet
  People say that you find love when you're not looking for it. But most people are idealistic morons who blow every chance at love by using other people to validate their narcissistic delusions. So, who cares what they think? The peeps at the nonprofit Humane Society of Broward County started a... More >>
• Best Place to Volunteer
  West Palm 100
  Back in October of 2003, ten friends in West Palm Beach met in the back room of an Irish pub in the hope of organizing the city's growing community of young professionals. The group they formed -- including lawyers, teachers, and even a few politicians -- became West Palm 100. It holds regular... More >>
• Best Place to Check Your E-Mail
  Goldfinger North
  This midrange strip club in suburban Sunrise has everything a hard-working gentleman needs: two computer terminals with high-speed Internet connections where you can take a break from lap dances and leering to check your e-mail and stock prices. Or you can just send a nice note home to the old... More >>
• Best Sex Jobs
  Adultstaffing.com
  Instead of bustin' your hump for The Man, you could be the man humping a bust for a livin'. Or a woman. You'll find work aplenty for both sexes posted on www.adultstaffing.com. The help-wanted postings are conveniently listed in categories such as bartenders, dancers, sex video performers,... More >>
• Best Spot for a Bachelor Party
  Captain Pete's Houseboat
  Just north of the island of Palm Beach, smack dab in the middle of the Lake Worth Lagoon, sits a 169-year-old cabin plucked from the shores of Cape Cod. Just looking at it will sober you up. The cabin arrives every winter from its former home up north thanks to Capt. Pete Mason, who dropped the... More >>
• Best Place to Live Free
  Sunsport Gardens Family Nudist Resort
  Given South Florida's subtropical climate, it's summer nearly 11 months out of the year. And about seven of those are so hot and muggy that your T-shirt is soaked with sweat the minute you walk outside. So it's no surprise that it's not the most popular destination for camping trips. But that... More >>
• Best Local Girl Gone Bad
  Mary Carey
  Prestigious Pine Crest Preparatory School has been sending academic overachievers to Ivy League schools since 1934. But no alum has been in the news in the recent year as much as the Class of 1998's (and Boca Raton's own) Mary Ellen Cook, better known as Mary Carey. The star of fine pieces of... More >>
• Best Reason to Live in South Florida
  Tourists
  They draw constant derision, what with their silly accents, their tucked-in shirts, and their strawberry-shortcake tans. But who among us would truly banish the tourists? In a world without tourists, who aboard the Jungle Queen would we moon from the riverbanks? Who would patronize those... More >>
• Best Bush in Executive Office
  West Palm Beach Police Chief Delsa Bush
  Not Dubya. Not Jeb. Delsa. The 43-year-old single mother of two was recently installed as the new chief of police for West Palm Beach. That makes her the first woman and the first African-American to serve as the city's top cop. Essentially the CEO of the largest municipal department in Palm... More >>
• Best News Anchor
  Jackie Nespral Readers' Choice: Dwight Lauderdale, WPLG-TV (Channel 10)
  In the delightfully ephemeral world of television news, most female anchors rely on two God-given gifts: girl-next-door beauty and the uncanny ability to unleash a vacuous giggle on the male co-anchor's cue. A notable exception to the rule is NBC 6's Emmy-winning Jackie Nespral, whose dark good... More >>
• Best Weathercaster
  Pamela Wright Readers Choice: Jackie Johnson, WSVN-TV (Channel 7)
  Look, we don't want to rain on weathercasters' parades, but they are at the very bottom of the television news ladder. Half of them steal their forecasts from the National Weather Service, and they're still wrong a lot. Their greatest talent, generally speaking, is the ability to pretend they're... More >>
• Best Noon Newscast
  WPLG-TV (Channel 10)
  Daytime news broadcasts are often quite fascinating. Not for news, which they generally lack, but for the bizarre and unsettling combination of gruesome fatal accidents or murder stories with the cheery talk about other goings-on and weather. The juxtaposition can produce a disturbing effect... More >>